I'm sorry. I'm not feeling up to it. I've got a lot going on in my life, and I am so tired. I am absolutely exhausted. I would write. I really really would, but the funnies just aren't happening right now. I squeezed my brain muscles to the point of fatigue, and I'm simply not getting anywhere. Call it writer's block or a head cold. There will be no post today.
I don't even have something that I've been cooking up in the background. I don't have any work saved up for a rainy day. I am completely, totally, and absolutely out of ideas. Let me be perfectly clear. I will not be posting anything today.
Before you even ask, I am most certainly not going to be posting a meta article describing this problem. That is a boring and played out idea. It's frankly passe. It has been done too much. I wish I could give you the article you are looking for. I do. I can not reiterate this enough. No new posts will be published to this website today.
I know that I may have lead you on previously with my extraordinarily consistent schedule. That was unfair to you. While keeping it up would be categorically untenable, I hate to disappoint you like this. The truth is that I am disappointing myself. I am better than this. I understand that, in order to be a relevant artist in the information age, I have to treat my work as a commodity. The content slop should never stop. This status quo is completely okay and good, and undoubtedly, this is the way that things should be. I see no problems with this at all. Even still, it is ridiculous that I have to keep saying this. I am not going to put out any writing today.
Please, stop asking. This is starting to get a little pathetic. You already know the answer to your question. Repeating it is not going to change the answer. Look, I appreciate your interest, but you'll just have to wait for another day. You'll have to find something else to keep you busy till then. Maybe, you should check out BuzzFeed or the Onion. I'm sure they've got something for you to read. Have you tried scrolling through Reddit? That might keep you busy. I will not say this again. There is nothing new here for you to read today, .