How to solve a Rubik's Cube [TUTORIAL]

The Rubik's Cube is a beloved and iconic puzzle toy which has captured the hearts and minds of many. While the art of solving this mysterious cube is itself a sport, many still have never actually solved it. Instead, those people tend to just use it as some sort of fidget device. While the versatility of the mystical cube is itself a very nice feature, the main function of the toy is something most people never actually interface with successfully. Countless times, I've seen people pick up the magical puzzle cube, only to give up after solving one side when the true power of the cube is unlocked by completing this clandestine ritual.

Step 1: Admire the cube

The first step is a rather obvious one. Observe the cube. In your mind, create a map of every color on every side of the cube. Consider, without touching it, how the actions you take will influence the state of the cube. Imagine yourself solving the cube and all the positive emotions you will feel when accomplishing this. You will feel great, and you should appreciate the cube for offering you this feeling. Tell the cube, "I appreciate you" as a sign of good will. Say it out loud. Don't be embarrassed. If you are, the cube will sense this and punish you for your lack of faith.

Step 2: Make random moves

Next, you need to begin interacting with the cube. It is time to make some moves. The particular moves themselves don't matter. You just need to show the cube that you are trying. If you are looking for any particular guidelines for which moves you should or should not make, whatever you do, do not repeat patterns of moves. Any pattern of moves will prevent the cube's state from changing to one that actually progresses the puzzle. All the moves you make should be spontaneous and unique. It's best that you don't even consider the state of the cube at all when making moves. Those who solve Rubik's cubes at the highest levels of competition, do it blindfolded. We are essentially taking that lesson from the "meta" and applying it to your casual puzzle solving.

Step 3: Realize it isn't working

You may have just started to realize that, despite making all of your best efforts to solve the cube, the cube remains unsolved. It taunts you, reminding you of your inadequacies. Its unsolved state is just a parallel of all the real problems in your life like how you seem to be completely unable to support yourself on your income despite working multiple jobs, or how your friend circle has shrank and shrank over the years to just a small number of people despite you wanting that to change, or how you worry about how your mom had already given birth to you by the age you currently are, but you haven't made any progress towards building a "traditional family unit" at all. Your current boyfriend doesn't even want kids, and you couldn't even have them yourself if you tried. What are you doing with your life? You lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling wondering what the point of all of this is. Life is an all consuming black hole, never stopping, never waiting, always wanting more and more of you.

Step 4: Grow increasingly frustrated

This shouldn't be that hard. Right? Like, you've seen lots of people before you solve a Rubik's cube. Why is it so hard for you? Are you not informed enough about how the puzzle works to actually come to a solution in a reasonable amount of time? No, that can't be right. You studied the cube. You even took notes from people in high level competitions and applied it to your technique. By that logic, it should be even easier than average to solve this cube, and yet, here we are. The cube remains unsolved just as it always was. This is ridiculous. The cube is willfully refusing to become solved despite your actions, and for what? To punish you? You had faith in the cube, and now, it laughs at your incompetence.

Step 5: Realize it was never possible in the first place

This is a setup. The cube is a lie. No one has ever actually solved the cube. How could they? It is clearly impossible. Everyone who claims to have solved it is obviously lying, and all that footage of people solving cubes, in their personal lives, or at competitions, is entirely fabricated. It's all part of a massive conspiracy. Think about it. It just makes sense.

Conclusion

And there you have it! Follow these instructions, and you will never ever solve a Rubik's cube. It is just that easy!